Working with me: A holistic and pragmatic approach to healing emotional wounds

Why clients come to me

Clients come to me with stories that still carry emotional charge - wounds that haven’t been witnessed or fully processed. I hold a space where people feel seen, understood, and safe enough to explore what they may be sharing for the first time.

While this is a general flow of how I tend to work, I honour each individual tailor my approach to what feels right for them in every moment.

My approach sits at the intersection of traditional therapy, spirituality, and complementary medicine.

We all carry wounds from the past - some with ripple effects that echo for decades. Whether it’s about dating and relationships, difficulty setting healthy boundaries around work, body acceptance, or allowing yourself to chase your dreams - there are often stories and memories that form the foundation of limiting beliefs, and that’s what we work together to clear.

Even ‘small t’ traumas can leave a lasting imprint, often without us realising the connection. Some wounds might run deeper - like being raised by parents who were absent, abusive, neglectful, inconsistent, unpredictable, disinterested, invalidating, dismissive, unaffectionate, manipulative, critical, violent or substance-reliant. Overall, the blanket belief that forms from these experiences is often one along the lines of: "I'm not good enough." On an intellectual level, we may recognise it not to be true, but on an emotional and somatic level - an old part of us may still believe it. How do you think that belief might impact how a person shows up in life?

If something from the past still lives in your body, shapes your beliefs, or affects your life today - it matters, and it isn't something to be ignored or suppressed any longer. It’s never too late to give it the space, care, and the resolution it deserves.

It matters because unresolved past experiences continue to shape how we feel, think, and respond - subconsciously and consciously. These hidden wounds can limit our sense of safety, self-worth, and ability to connect with others, keeping us stuck in patterns that cause ongoing pain or struggle. Healing them frees up emotional energy, shifts limiting beliefs, and creates space for growth, resilience, and a more centred way of being. Ignoring these wounds doesn’t make them disappear - it only keeps bubbling beneath the surface.

An animated depiction of the body map of emotions based on a 2013 study, showing how emotions universally show up in the body.

Processing painful memories or trauma

Learning about my client’s nervous system and how they respond to stress and big emotions is a large part of my work. I make sure the client is at a place where they are resourced, supported and resilient enough to handle bringing up the memory without overwhelm or doing harm. We work to build a more intimate and attuned relationship with our body, learning to listen to its messages. Whether through grounding, somatic exercises, or guided meditation, my goal is to help clients foster a deeper connection with themselves.

Identifying the target memory/belief:

We trace unhelpful thoughts and patterns back to the earliest or most painful memory. This is generally where the root of a limiting belief, fear, or internal block lives.

Processing

A visual representation of Bilateral Stimulation - the stimulation of alternating brain hemispheres

Then through bilateral stimulation, a process that activates both hemispheres of the brain, we help the memory shift out of short-term emotional reactivity and into long-term storage. This process mimics the REM sleep cycle, a time where the brain naturally processes and integrates emotional experiences. This is also another reason why people report having vivid or unusual dreams following sessions with bilateral stimulation.

Once the memory is processed through several rounds of bilateral stimulation, the charge begins to fade. It’s understandable why EMDR isn’t recommended for clients involved in live court cases, particularly when the case involves the material being processed since specific details may become harder to recall accurately.

'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' echoes EMDR - while EMDR doesn't 'erase' memories, clients often describe memories feeling 'blurrier' and harder to access.

While it may take several sessions to process a wound as thoroughly as possible, the 'clearing' creates space for something new and better to take its place. Everyone processes at different rates and has different responses. Every mind is different, and so is every nervous system.

A fascinating side effect of this clearing is a renewed perspective on the painful memory - often accompanied by compassionate, more positive lens. This progress and growth is healing.

Integrating a new way of being

With this newfound space, I collaborate with the client to identify positive belief(s) or affirmation(s) that they would like to feel, believe and integrate to take the place of what once felt heavy or limiting. I do this in several ways:

1) By also using slow bilateral stimulation, such as what's called the 'Butterfly hug', to gently settle the belief into the mind and nervous system.

2) Through a guided meditation, we explore a felt sense of who you would be without the weight of the wound... How would it be to feel to think, believe, and act from this new, empowered place? It has echoes of Solution-Focused Therapy, but with the added depth of visualisation and somatic conditioning.

Note: The brain doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and vividly imagined - which gives us a powerful tool to rewire and condition ourselves into a new reality through sensory practice (University of Colorado, 2018).

What to expect after sessions

Generally, over weeks, months, or even a year, noticeable changes begin to unfold in clients’ lives. Situations that once felt overwhelming or impossible to face may become less daunting and no longer need to be avoided. Comments or criticisms that once caused deep pain often lose much of their emotional impact. Many experience feeling more present and able to engage with daily life without being pulled back into past pain. As old reactive patterns soften, relationships tend to improve, allowing for more open and less fearful connections.

A deeper sense of self-acceptance, emotional steadiness, and resilience often emerges, and witnessing this growth is profoundly fulfilling. Healing is a journey, and with time, the wounds that once held clients back can transform into sources of strength and growth.

I love the metaphor of Kintsugi and healing - how broken ceramic pieces, once repaired and sealed with gold, become even more beautiful and magnificent.

You are always in control.

I am simply walking beside you in the dark, until you are able to see the path for yourself, in your own light.

Anita is a certified counsellor trained in Somatic EMDR through The Embody Lab, which is led by pioneering researchers and advocates in somatic psychology, including Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, Arielle Schwartz, an influential clinical psychologist specialising in Complex PTSD, Pat Ogden, founder of Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, among other notable faculty.